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9 dear friends you DON’T want to go on a night out with

We love you, but please stay at home.

NIGHTS OUT WITH friends. What can beat it?

You have a few drinks, a few laughs and make memories you’ll back on fondly for years. There’s simply nothing like a great night out with even better friends. However, there are some friends that just aren’t conducive to a good night out.

In fact, they downright ruin them.

1. The drama drama drama

Tears before bedtime. If it’s not a fight with the other half, it’s nonsensical fits over a spilled drink. Half the night is spent defusing the situation with the sensitivity and slow pincer movements of a UN task force.

Natural Born Boy / Photobucket Natural Born Boy / Photobucket / Photobucket

2. The deep meaningful conversation

The vibes are strong, you’re enjoying the music and it seems like a good crowd is out and buzzing. Oh no, wait, you’ve got to have a serious, long, meandering, repetitive conversation with an earnest friend about what friendship truly means. Bloody brilliant. Just what you wanted. Party on.

Shuterstock Shuterstock

3. The stingy one

Oh, you “forgot” your wallet again? GUESS YOU BETTER GO HOME THEN, EH?

The Berry The Berry

4. The one who insists on shots

Please, no. Not again. I feel weak and I think I can hear my stomach shouting at me.

Imgfave Imgfave

5. The complainer

Yes, I suppose the bathrooms are kind of messy tonight. Yes, I guess this song is a bit overplayed. Yes, it is taking a while to get served. And, YES, you ARE wrecking the buzz with your moaning.

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6. The one who can’t let go

It’s 4.30am. The chipper is turfing everyone out, but they’re insisting on an after-session in their house. Let it go. The night is over – and that’s okay. Just let it go. Sssh. It’s gonna be alright. It’s over.


7. The suits themselves

This friend will only come out if everyone is going where they want to go. They don’t seem to care what anyone else wants to do or where they might want to go. They’re like a mini dictator whose closely-guarded territory is nights out. And like all tyrants, they must be OUSTED.

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8. The dry as sin

The person who is just too damn sensible for their own good. Their idea of letting their hair down is getting the last bus after a few sherries. Put on your cardigan and pearls already, GOD.

Wikimedia Commons Wikimedia Commons

9. The #GTS

Get The Shift. This pal is focussed on – nay, obsessed by – the idea of getting the shift. It’s all they talk about, all they think about, and all they want to do. You try to have a chat with them and you can see their eyes drifting around the room, in search of the mythic, elusive shift. It would probably be more craic to bring a dog on heat to the club.

Funny as Duck Funny as Duck

Who is your least favourite friend to go out on the razz with? And friends – we love you. We do. This just isn’t your strong suit.

Read: 12 special sights you’ll see on the Irish night out>

Read: 10 mortifying elements of the Irish night out>

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