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portaloo problems

13 mad celebrity outfits from Coachella that would just never work at Electric Picnic

All white? Ankle-length fringe? Girl.

Entertainment: Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival SIPA USA / PA Images SIPA USA / PA Images / PA Images

COACHELLA IS ON this weekend, with loads of celebs* flocking to the desert to take in the music – and if we’re being completely honest, to take pictures of themselves taking in the music.

2017 Coachella Music And Arts Festival - Weekend 1 - Day 2 Amy Harris / PA Wire Amy Harris / PA Wire / PA Wire

Of course, they do festivals the rich celebrity way (for free, with #glamsquads and indoor plumbing). So they can dress like THIS, unlike us mere mortals.

*Your mileage may vary on the meaning of ‘celebs’ here. 

1. Kate Bosworth

In the regular world, this would end up spattered with muck on the treacherous walk from the car park to the campsite.

2. Victoria’s Secret model Josephine Skriver

Josephine, did you accidentally dip that fringe in a Portaloo at any stage this weekend? You can tell us.

3. Victoria’s Secret model Elsa Hosk

Let’s not contemplate the leg sweat in those leather pants. Let’s just not.

4. Modern Family actress Ariel Winter

Is the criss cross boob sunburn worth it? We’re not sure.

5. Kylie Jenner

A wig is actually a pretty good festival idea, in fairness. She’ll save a bucket on dry shampoo.

6. Kylie Jenner again

She’ll catch her DEATH.

7. Hailee Steinfeld

Can you imagine someone wearing thigh-high boots at EP? The chorus of “Who’s yer wan?” would never cease.

8. Rita Ora

Again with the “Who’s Yer Wan?” boots!

9. Kendall Jenner

Cream bellbottoms. Stressful.

10. Halsey

We saw this and the word ‘Canesten’ just popped into our heads. Can’t think why.

11. Joe Jonas and his band DNCE

Their Irish counterparts are the guys who wear animal onesies for the whole weekend. You know them. The mad lads.

12. Paris Hilton

parishilton Instagram / parishilton Instagram / parishilton / parishilton

This just screams ‘Person With Sunday Ticket Who Just Glides In, Showered And Refreshed, As The Rest Of Us Sit In Our Own Filth’.

13. And finally, Rihanna

Bitch, she is Rihanna. She can wear anything she goddamn wants.

…But she would still hold up the already very long Portaloo queues trying to shimmy in and out of this bodysuit without it touching the manky floor. Not ideal.

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