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Dublin: 8 °C Thursday 28 March, 2024
shoulder the blame

Why can't any female celebrities put on their coats properly?

This is a SERIOUS ISSUE.

IN RECENT MONTHS, a very serious celebrity issue has come to our attention: Many female stars just do not know how to put on their coats and jackets.

Here’s Gigi Hadid with her jacket at half-mast in the rain, for example.

Actress Bella Thorne, getting one side right but demonstrating some confusion over what to do with her left arm:

And serial offender Kylie Jenner, who can’t seem to get her head around coats at all.

Maybe her coy smile is hiding lots of coat-related anxiety?

As we observe this alarming trend growing and growing, we have some questions for the celebrities involved. Namely: Why?

Is it a weather issue? Like, it’s too cold to not wear a jacket, but too warm to go all the way?

Because we get that! It’s called the Irish summer.

But we still make a decision as to whether we want the jacket on or not. Maybe you can give us a call and we’ll chat to you about our experiences?

Or is it just a fun, ~sexy~ way to wear a coat?

“I’m wearing a big puffa jacket, but let nobody forget that I am also sexy.” Probably what Ariana Grande was thinking there.

“STILL SEXY. DON’T LET THE DENIM JACKET FOOL YOU.” Surely the thoughts running through Bella Hadid’s mind at that moment.

What happens when you need to use your hands? Do you have to slip the coat on and off again? Seems time-consuming.

They are rich, though. Maybe they’ve hired people to be their hands.

We’d just really like to know.

But it might already be too late.

Topshop has made a denim jacket that does away with the whole issue, as it has no shoulders to begin with:

topshopjacket Topshop Topshop

Horrific. What next? Will every item of clothing come with pre-sagged shoulders? We can’t bear the thought of it.

So Hadids, Jennerdashians, and your ilk: Sort yourselves out. Before the whole world catches its death of cold.

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