Dublin: 11 °C Sunday 27 September, 2020

11 essential facts of life for people who really, truly, HATE cooking

Can’t we do something else?

IT JUST SEEMS like there are better things to do with your time. Like anything else.

1. It’s not that you can’t cook, first of all

cant cook Source: YouTube

Well, you can’t really be sure. Maybe you could if you really, really committed to it?

2. Your fridge might be empty, but you have the best stocked cereal press in town

Because cereal is always there when you literally couldn’t be arsed to get anything else for dinner.

3. And you’re an oracle on frozen pizza

Which is the cheapest, which is the tastiest, which supermarket’s own-brand is the best, etc. If only this information actually served you well in the real world.

4. People often comment on the bleakness of your home-cooked efforts, when they occur

Plain pasta with some pesto thrown on it is ‘sad’ apparently. Sad but QUICK and DELICIOUS, Denise. You can’t argue with that logic.

5. But the few times you’ve actually tried to make a meal from scratch, it’s gone horribly wrong

You made a complete mess, or got distracted and burned your spaghetti, or forgot to turn the oven on in the first place. Your priorities just do not align with being a chef.

6. ‘Meal prep’ sounds like hell to you

You mean you spend a whole day just… chopping and boiling and roasting things? When you could be sitting down?

7. You may have purchased some kitchen gear in the hopes of inspiring yourself, once

That slow cooker seemed like a revelation – you can just leave it to do the cooking for you! – until you realised that chopping is actually what you hate.

8. Speaking of chopping, absolutely f**k that

635884219202604647-61383048_cooking Source: MSCEND


9. Not to mention the washing up

Dirty_dishes Source: Wikimedia

Even washing the plate you put your frozen pizza on feels like an imposition.

10. So you’ll avoid cooking for as long as you get away with it

Source: Sasha Yee/YouTube

Even Beyoncé isn’t a fan of it.

11. But if your mam asks, you’re roasting a chicken every Sunday to have for lunches during the week

She doesn’t have to know. *winks*

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