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Growing pains

7 ways your parents TOTALLY ruined your teenage life

It’s NOT FAIR. I didn’t ASK to be born.

PARENTING IS ONE – if not THE – hardest things in life to do.

Yet, being a child is also pretty hard at times. Especially if you had these kind of parents.

1. Forgetting to pick you up

Few things were more ignoble and humiliating than waiting for your lift. You were lucky if you were within walking distance of school. You never had to do the slow slope off to stand around, hoping your Mam remembered you, and the relief mixed with anger when the car finally spluttered up. “Where WERE you?”

2. Coming to collect you too early

Almost as bad as being forgotten was being remembered – too early. Hands up who was once collected mid-dance from a disco? Ah, feel the hot glowing beams of shame as you pull into Mortification Central, calling at Never Getting The Shift Again Parkway.

Flickr / liako Flickr / liako / liako

3. Walking into your room without knocking


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4. Telling your friends embarrassing stories

Given 5 minutes alone with your friends, your parents would delight in wheeling out the most mortifying, shameful nuggets from your pasts. Walking down the hall stairs to hear your mother bellowing, “Did we ever tell you about the time Jane wet herself through her togs on the beach in Rosslare…” Oh. Oh, no.

5. Forbidding you from going to essential events

Everyone was going to Oasis at the Point. Your entire life at school depended on not only writing the right lyrics on your book and having the whole album taped off the radio, but also getting tickets to the gig. And were you let go? Of course you weren’t. Didn’t your parents know they were RUINING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE?

Don't Stop Don't Stop

6. Wearing something mortifying

Oh, Dad please don’t wear slippers in public. And, Mam, please not that hat. No, we’re not in that big of a rush – you don’t have to wear your pyjamas to do the school run. Please, not the tartan shorts. Not in front of my friends.

7. Dancing at weddings

This is a particular Irish Dad offence, especially after a few sherries after some sort of family celebration. He could break out moves that would make the Funky Chicken look tame. And possibly pull a muscle, having to be helped off the dancefloor.

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How did your parents mortify you during your sensitive youth? Or are you yourself now an embarrassing parent? Share your side in the comments.

Read: 6 things you should no longer need to hide from your parents>

Read: 25 things that will make every Irish person feel ancient>

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