WHILE BARACK IS at hard at work up in Lough Erne at the G8 summit, his family will be having a short holiday down South.
Wife Michelle and daughters Malia and Sasha will be enjoying a flying visit around Dublin and Wicklow – taking in a stay in the Shelbourne Hotel, a trip to see the Book of Kells, a private show of Riverdance and a jaunt up to Glendalough.
T’was far from a private show of Riverdance we were reared. Here are the REAL childhood Irish experiences the girls should be getting…
Caravan in Wexford
First of all, the Shelbourne is far too swanky. The girls should be going down to the caravan in Wexford, to the beach at Tramore or the prom at Salthill.
Image: via YouTube/FatherTedChannel
At a push, they should be staying with their cousins in Moneygall for the summer.
The beach
The nearby strand was an integral part of childhood holidays. You’d happily spend all day on the beach with a bucket and spade, or simply digging a very big hole for no discernible reason.
Image: via Flickr Creative Commons/Stepol
Sasha and Malia’s trip doesn’t include any beaches – so they’re going to miss out on the Irish childhood rites of passage like getting sandy deposits everywhere, the stink of seaweed and peeing in the sea.
The amusements
The best part of any childhood holiday in Ireland was being given five pounds at the start of the holiday to spend for the week. You had to budget VERY carefully. The amusements jeopardised all that.
Image: via Flickr Creative Commons/The Token Company
Another firm favourite and drain on the pocket money was the fairground. Those precious pounds disappeared in a flurry of excitement… And all you were left with at the end was an oversized teddy and a lingering sensation of nausea from the Waltzers.
Image: via Flickr Creative Commons/CraigFinlay
The cousins
It was the few weeks a year you spent almost entirely with your feckin’ cousins. And every year, you’d remember why you only saw them a fortnight a year.
Image: via The Daily Meme
It was almost the most annoying cousins you had to share the mobile home with. Cousins – useful in one sense in that they proved there were people out there more annoying than your siblings.
Fishing for pinkeens
Nothing was better on idyllic childhood summer days than getting out the jam jars and fishing for pinkeens.
Image: via Flickr Creative Commons/WooleyDuck
Somehow we can’t really imagine Sasha or Malia finding pinkeens as thrilling as we did.
The delicious food
Childhood holidays in Ireland involved a very strict diet of fish and chips, rounded off with a 99 cone.
Image: via Flickr Creative Commons/Dave on Flickr
Do you think the Shelbourne could possibly russle up some battered cod for the Obama girls?
The dog in the boot
One person always came on the family holiday – the dog. Sasha and Malia actually have a dog back in the White House, a Portuguese water dog called Bo.
Image: via The White House
We don’t think Michelle will be sticking Bo in the boot of The Beast, though.
The water park
If you were lucky, you might have got to go to a water park – and yet we don’t see Trabolgan or Mosney on that itinerary for the first daughters.
Image: via Flickr Creative Commons/Scott Ableman
Maybe they forgot to pack their arm bands.
