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12 simple things that are likely to cause an argument in Ireland

‘I rang for the takeaway the last time!’

WE IRISH ARE a friendly people.

We like to have the chats, a bit of a laugh, and an all round good time.

However, there are some things we take seriously.

Very seriously.

There are some things which we take so seriously, they are often likely to cause an argument.

Here are twelve of those things.

Beans in a fry

Flickr/Bob Usher

First of all, there’s the question of whether they belong there at all.

Secondly, should they touch other members of the fry family or should their juice be kept separate?

It’s a minefield.


Zinc and Co.

We love our tea, and if you get it wrong we won’t be happy.

People have also been known to come to blows over the implication that the way they take their tea is the wrong way.  Which it usually is.

Clearly strong with a dash of milk is the way to go.

The immersion

Flickr/Still Burning

The advent of electric showers has minimised the level of conflict which surrounded the immersion, but unfortunately it has not gone entirely.

Leave the immersion on and you’re bound to find yourself in the centre of an argument.

Roy Keane

Niall Carson/PA Archive/Press Association Images

Eleven years later, it’s still a source of conflict and probably always will be.

The bill

It’s not a meal out with friends unless you argue about the bill.

In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find an Irish person who hasn’t aggressively shoved money into someone’s hand/pocket/handbag.

One more pint


Someone wants to go home, but their compatriot is having none of it.

Cue arguing for approximately four minutes, followed by the knowing acceptance that of course, another pint will be had.

The heating

In every house there’s a frugal Fergal or a Spendy Sorcha which means that come Autumn the heating becomes a source of conflict.

Where to go for Christmas

Flickr/Irish Typepad

His mother’s?  Your mother’s?  One night?  Two nights?  OH THE HUMANITY.

How long it takes to get from place to place

‘We were there in an hour!’

‘You couldn’t have been there in an hour, it’s 250km away!’

‘I’m telling you, door to door in an hour!  Maybe an hour and fifteen…’

3 in 1

Facebook/Long Fang Kitchen

Should it include chicken?  If it includes chicken is it still a three in one?  It's a hotbed of confliction.

Ordering the takeaway

Despite the fact that we are a gregarious people, we do not enjoy over the phone chats in which we have to speak to someone we don't know in polite tones.

Fake Tan

Of course, occasionally it's the other way around. Imgur

Lots of women love it.  Lots of men hate it.

Lots of men and women live together.

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