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potatoes gonna potate

10 essential facts of life for Irish people who don't like potatoes

They exist. And they demand to be recognised.

WE HOPE YOU’RE SITTING down. We have something upsetting to tell you.

There are some Irish people who – whisper it – don’t like potatoes.

Last night, commenter Lousie Keon shared how the tubers distressed her:

potatocomment

And it looks like she’s not the only one.

We don’t hate. We empathise. Here are 10 facts of life for Irish potato-haters.

1. You have no idea why people hold spuds so dearly

Soapy, ugly, dry. What’s to like? WHAT IS TO LIKE?

2. And you have to get around the fact that they’re served with EVERYTHING in Ireland

shutterstock_84571102 Shutterstock / Foodpictures Shutterstock / Foodpictures / Foodpictures

Some restaurants have potato bearers that come around ready to ladle so-called ‘new’ potatoes on your plate, regardless of whether you ordered them or not. Injustice!

3. Having dinner at other people’s houses is dead awkward

no spuds Wikimedia Wikimedia

How do you tell them about the Spud Problem? How?

4. You’re well used to the blank stare that follows your admission

The cook:

giphy Giphy Giphy

You:

41398-Emma-Stone-shrug-gif-cK4y Sbnation Sbnation

5. And the “SO WHAT DO YOU EAT?” question

NOssEfZ Imgur Imgur

Pasta, rice, the hearts of my enemies. Y’know. The usual.

6. Christmas Day is… interesting

Is it possible to have pasta with the turkey, please?

9. And it’s absolutely terrible when they sneak up on you

Kaeng_kari_kai Wikimedia Wikimedia

You SNEAKY curry! We weren’t prepared! *shakes fist*

8. Chips and Tayto are different, though

You’re allowed hate potatoes and love chips. You ARE.

9. The ‘Irish People <3 Potatoes’ stereotype really grinds you down

https://vine.co/v/OH5Fi7ABdXT

You couldn’t handle being Niall Horan and having One Direction fans shouting “POTATOES!” at you all the time. It’d send you over the edge.

10. And you’re 100% sure you will never, ever relent

roastpotatoes Flickr / alexbrn Flickr / alexbrn / alexbrn

There will never be one gorgeous roastie that’ll change your mind. Never. And everyone can just deal with it.

Previously: 11 things every kid dreaded about eating another Irish mammy’s dinner>

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