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Dublin: 14 °C Tuesday 15 October, 2019
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Stolen pesto? Microwave politics? It's time to play Lunchtime Bingo

How many boxes can you tick?

IT’S THAT TIME of the day again, the traditional break for sandwiches, wraps, soups and salads.

Lunchtime can be a time of great joy and reflection, where you leave you cares (and your desk) for an hour and indulge in a delicious meal.

It can also be a slightly grim time, trapped in a windowless canteen, fighting over the microwave and listening to your dull co-worker explain how he killed that boss in Skyrim.

Then of course there are the times when you don’t get to leave your desk at all, and those who eat their lunch at home, with the whole kitchen at their mercy.

Sounds like it’s time for game of Lunchtime Bingo. Grab your cards, grab a sandwich, and get ready to roar “HOUSE”!

Want to print one out? Here you go>

Key:

I SAID NO MAYO

Which part of “no mayo” did the deli staff not understand. NO DON’T SCRAPE IT OFF, THE RESIDUE WILL STILL BE THERE.

Ruined.

ARGH, NO MILK!

You’re made yourself a nice cup of tea or coffee to round off your lunch, and some shitehawk has used all the milk.

DISHES IN THE SINK

You want to drain your can of tuna, but all those dishes are in the way.

SO MUCH ONION

I said a little bit. LITTLE.

CARB ENVY

You’re being all healthy with your fruit and salad, but you’re about to rip someone’s head off for a bit of batch toast.

LUNCH ENVY

Someone made the effort to go to that really nice sandwich place 15 minutes away, while you went for the closer, but infinitely more disappointing newsagent deli counter.

BANJAXED BANANA

It’s a bit bruised, ara sure I’ll eat it anyway.

via Bloke That Bakes

ANYTHING IN THE SHOP?

You whisper this as you tiptoe out of the office.

Three minutes later you have a list which includes 3 chicken fillet rolls, 7 bags of crisps, 5 cans of coke…

BORING CO-WORKER

You walk into the canteen. He’s the only one there. There’s no escape.

HOMEMADE LUNCH

If it’s a delicious leftover roast chicken sandwich with lovely crisps and some homemade buns for afterwards, you can feel pretty smug.

If it’s an oxtail cup-a-soup and some crackers, you can’t.

RAINING

But I need to go to Dunnes!

WHERE’S MY PESTO?

Someone has been helping themselves, bit by bit, to pesto from your jar.

STOLEN FROM FRIDGE

The ultimate in lunchtime crimes. Someone has stolen your entire sandwich!

THAT KNIFE HAS MAYO ON IT

Oh come on. Don’t use that to cut my san… OH COME ON!

Nowhere nice

via Imgur

BANK QUEUE

You want to have a delicious lunch, but you have to go to the bank/post office/motor tax office.

CAT ATTACK

If you’re eating lunch at home, cats have no concept of what belongs to you and what belongs to them.

STILL HUNGRY

That sandwich did nothing for you. And there’s another three-and-a-half hours until you can eat again. DOOM.

WORKING THROUGH LUNCH

Soup at your desk. Grim.

MOULD ON THE BREAD

Are you going to cut it off and chance it? You won’t be able to stop thinking about it, guaranteed.

CRUMBS IN KEYBOARD

This is a pesky by-product of lunch at your desk.

DELICIOUS!

You’ve hit the motherload. A lovely, satisfying lunch!

via YouTube

Wrap fail

Speaks for itself really.

Begging dog

At least the cat just goes for it. The dog makes you feel guilty for the entirety of your meal.

via Imgur

Microwave politics

Someone’s food is finished heating, do you take it out, or wait?

Someone is reheating fish. How much displeasure can you display?

Someone’s lunch has exploded all over the microwave and they haven’t cleaned it. Do you throw it at them?

12 sandwiches that will change your concept of ‘sandwich’ forever>

The Guide To Improving Your Lunch At Work>

Who used to have Billy Roll sandwiches for their big lunch?

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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