Dublin: 11 °C Friday 14 June, 2024
no sauce please

14 essential facts of life for Irish people who are picky eaters

“Ah sure just have a bit.”

1. You know when you go into a fast food place that they will add some poxy sauce to the burger that you specifically asked not to be there

Asian burger stu_spivack stu_spivack

That feeling when you know they are going to smother your food in something disgusting never leaves you.

2. Friends and family are constantly trying to make you eat things they know you don’t like

what-not-to-say-to-short-girls-3 Teen Teen

“You won’t take an egg?”

“No. Given you know I don’t like eggs, I think I’ll leave it.”

3. You keep an eagle eye on any knife that has been contaminated by other substances

Case in point: the deli.

They're about to put butter on your roll and there is a dash - no matter how minuscule - of ketchup or mayo hanging on the knife. This is not acceptable.

When you ask them to wipe the knife, the guilt sets in.

4. You're constantly mystified by how people eat certain foods

tumblr_m3obgbE6Il1qm2h44o1_500 Tumblr Tumblr

Like, how? Why? Brussels sprouts, really?

5. You know the feeling when a friend suggests going to a new restaurant where you know nothing on the menu

original18 Gurl Gurl

You need to do your research.

6. You feel like a burger with more than three toppings is an inedible skyscraper of a meal

A kickass burger Kimtaro Kimtaro

You take pride that you can actually taste the meat and not get lockjaw in the process.

7. And you feel like it should be legislation that restaurants have to list every single thing that comes on each burger

giphy Giphy Giphy

No, ketchup is not "assumed".

8. Beans in a full Irish is a worryingly common thing, and it seems to be getting worse

Come for our #Sunday best after #siclovia! Serving this delicious #fullirish for #breakfast from 3p-6p. #southtown #sanantonio #sundayfunday francisbogside francisbogside

Beans in a fry, but separate to the main meal? Fine. We won't eat them, but it doesn't impact the rest of the breakfast.

Beans in a fry, slapped right in the middle of the rest of the food so the juice gets everywhere? Not OK. 

Some people just want to watch the world burn.

9. You have to ask the person in the chipper not to put anything on your chips because you know they'll drench them in vinegar

Washing Up Vinegar BlogSpot BlogSpot

10. You do feel a certain sense of guilt that you are the fussiest eater

cool-face-agree Wordpress Wordpress

11. But then you remember that everything that you eat is delicious and not total mank

blair-waldorf1 Gurl Gurl

12. But every once in a while you try something new just to go along with the group

tumblr_mzvzexqo4U1qzwhb0o1_400 Tumblr Tumblr

But it tastes as bad you knew it would.

13. Sometimes the kids' menu looks kind of appealing (if they upped the portion sizes, anyway)

kids_menu BlogSpot BlogSpot

14. And finally... you still get that feeling when you go around to a friend's house and their mam is making dinner and you don't know what it is

249-365 (Year 7) Christmas dinner :) ♔ Georgie R ♔ Georgie R

"It could be anything. I won't like this. I'm just going to make an audacious excuse and leave. Thanks. Bye."

DailyEdge is on Snapchat! Tap the button below to add!

snapcode with text cropped (1)

More 6 places for homesick Waterford people to get a decent blaa in Dublin>

More This Dublin pub’s new hot dog stand looks absolutely divine>

Your Voice
Readers Comments
    Submit a report
    Please help us understand how this comment violates our community guidelines.
    Thank you for the feedback
    Your feedback has been sent to our team for review.