DECIDING TO START a ‘new lifestyle plan’ is a big deal (it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle plan). It means that you’ve decided things aren’t working for you as they are, and that everything needs to change.
It’s a change in diet, a change in exercise and generally something people get really excited about.
Until they put it into practice. Then everything changes. Then suddenly they are forced to face these acts of sabotage.
You feel really hard done by
Why are you being forced to do this? Why is life so unfair? Why don’t you have the kind of metabolism which means you can eat what you want and not suffer any consequences? Why can’t you be like that tiny woman who broke the world record for eating steak?
WHY GOD, WHY?
Everyone in work brings in delicious baked goods
Suddenly, your workplace becomes the set of the Great British Bake Off and everyone’s having a go at baking delicious items, the likes of which you have of course sworn off.
They couldn’t have done this last week, no? No. They could not. Because the universe is against you.
All of your friends decide to have special dinners
Whether it’s a birthday, or a graduation, or some kind of congratulatory affair, your friends seem to be having dinners in delicious restaurants left right a centre.
You have to go, of course, otherwise you’d be a bad friend, so you end up sitting there bitterly eating the most boring thing on the menu staring jealously at your friends’ choices.
You suddenly remember loads of delicious food items you haven’t eaten in months
It’s true, you haven’t stepped foot inside of McDonalds for six or seven months, but suddenly the only thing you can think of is a double cheeseburger and twisty fries.
And why oh why didn’t you appreciate the appeal of a delicious Moro bar over the weekend when your were still in old lifestyle mode? You could have eaten so many!
It rains constantly
How are you meant to start walking to work and leaving the car at home when it looks like that outside? Ridiculous.
Your significant other suddenly discovers a talent for cooking
Now that you’re making your own healthy dinners your partner is left to their own devices.
Who knew they had a recipe for killer southern fried chicken? WHO KNEW? Not you because they never bloody mentioned it when you were eating whatever you wanted!
The ‘healthy options’ suddenly look revolting
Last week when you were thinking about how great this lifestyle change was going to be you were only delighted with all the inspired recipes available online.
You gleefully filled up Pinterest boards with healthy alternatives to your favourite foods, but now…well now they don’t look so hot. Like, are you really going to mash cauliflower into a pizza base? And who thought replacing the pasta in lasagne with thinly sliced courgette was a good idea?
You forget why you ever thought you should do this
Suddenly this entire concept seems like a stupid idea. You curse society for ever making you think you needed to do this (yes, society, that’s where the blame lies here).
You’ve lost all perspective on this matter.
If you have implemented a ‘new lifestyle plan’ and are struggling with the above, we feel your pain. Rumour has it that once you get over the first few weeks these things stop being a problem. Stick with it!
