Dublin: 5 °C Monday 4 December, 2023

Stop the world, let us off. Sex selfie sticks are now a horrifying reality


THE MOMENT NO one has been waiting for has arrived. The sex selfie stick is now a thing, and we just don’t know the limits anymore.

What is the limit? Can we make some plans to talk about this sometime?

As for the selfie stick, it’s possibly even worse than you’re imagining. It’s not just a stick that you can take selfies during sex, this device will literally take a selfie of EVERY BIT of you. It’s basically a vibrator with a camera on the end, and called the Svakom Gaga–because why not?

While it resembles something you’d be examined with during an endoscopy, it’s actually a vibrator which takes footage during ‘use’ that can then be uploaded to a laptop or your phone. If this simply isn’t good enough, you can also stream it live on FaceTime, in a move which truly signifies the end of civilisation completely.

Here’s how it works. There’s no demonstration, rest assured.

LovehoneyTV / YouTube

The Lovehoney product costs €164.99 and could be the solution to all your long distance relationship woes. Or else it can just enable you to have a chinwag on the phone with someone’s genitals, y’know, whatever.

Can we sort out some other serious problems first, please?

Yes, these face masks made from Irish peat are real>

Girls provides spot-on guide to taking the perfect d*ck pic>

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