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Dublin: 6 °C Sunday 15 December, 2019

13 sexy festive costumes that will make you want to cancel Christmas

Yes they are actually a thing now. Some may be slightly NSFW.

WE’RE UNCOMFORTABLE ENOUGH with sexy Halloween costumes being such a thing, but now there’s a new trend emerging.

They’re the opposite of Christmas jumpers, which by nature and tacky and cosy–they’re sexy Christmas costumes… and they’re certified childhood ruiners.

Here are some favourites…

1. Sexy Grinch

Made from Polyester and Elastane… cosy.

EY_3305_1_YO2012 Source: Yandy

2. Sexy Olaf from Frozen

Ruining childhoods while they’re still childhoods.

sexy-Olaf-snowman-costume-Frozen-Yandy-568x1024 Source:


Try looking him in the eye now.

Olaf_Icon Source: Disney

3. Santa Baby Burlesque Costume

From the North Poles famous… burlesque club. “If you’ve been good this year then this costume is not for you”. Oh.

large-santa-baby-burlesque-costume Source:

4. Sexy Gingerbread… person

* gives up*

880193_Ginger_ccKO Source: Yandy

5. Gingerbread man body suit

Yes, it actually just got worse.

13683-13685 Source: Partypieces

6. Sexy Christmas pudding

No, we’re not off edibles yet. This one is available for sale in Santry. Get your offers in.

asexypud Source:

7. Rudolf mankini

For the banter merchant ‘ledge’ in your life.

41Np8DRADFL Source: Amazon

8. Jingle bell legwarmers

Literally the only thing that will be kept warm, if even. Imagine standing in line for Coppers in this with no jacket on.

JV_1037_1038_1040_FRONT_W2013 Source: Yandy

9. Santa second skin

You thought you were in the clear after the Gingerbread man, didn’t you?

880543_1000 Source: EBay

10. Sexy man elf

That SMILE. Haunting.

mens elf costume d5391 Source: Amazon

11. …

Yes there’s a female one. Gender equality and all that.

Sexy_Elf_Cami_Se_54525ec562c2d Source: Spurst

12. Whatever this is

Oh dear.

41ngdCY35jL._SL505_ Source: Amazon

Poor Santa. He’s seen too much.


13. Red hot reindeer

‘There’s a sexy reindeer’, said no one ever.

SMF33182 Source:

14. The nutcracker

No comment. Just stop the world, let us off.

Nutcracker-Costume-22037 Source:

This is pretty much you, attempting to wear any of these out in December.


Good luck out there.

This guy’s gift wrapping skills are far superior to your paltry efforts>

Looking to make your winter beard a bit more festive? Try beard baubles>

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