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9 struggles that are true for people who hate sharing their bed

MOVE OVER, YOU’RE MAKING THE BED HOT.

1. Not being able to starfish kills you inside

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Fact: there are few greater joys in this world than spending a Saturday morning with your limbs splayed across the bed.

When you share a bed, however, you’re forced to curl up and keep to your side.

WHERE’S THE CRAIC IN THAT?

2. As does not being able to wrap your blanket around you burrito-style

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Having to be selfless when it comes to the duvet goes against everyone you stand for.

3. This is your face when someone else accidentally yoinks the blanket in the middle of the night, leaving you shivering in the cold

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If I can’t be selfish with the blanket, then neither can you.

4. Don’t even talk to us about waking up to find that the person sleeping next to you has ended up sharing your pillow

SLEEP ON YOUR OWN PILLOW, BUSTER.

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5. On particularly hot nights, you resent the other person for making the bed feel like a bloody oven

STOP MAKING MY BED HOT.

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6. You go into a mild rage spiral once you discover that the person you’re sharing a bed with is a kicker

*fantasises about sleeping alone*

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7. But if you’re the kicker, you start to feel paranoid/guilty about your nighttime habits

If you slept alone, you could kick all night long without fear of disrupting someone’s sleep.

How glorious it would be.

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8. Getting into bed after a night out is absolutely treacherous if there’s someone else in it

A delicate routine of walking around the room in the dark, dropping things and generally doing an awful job of being quiet as you collapse onto the bed and drool/snore for the night.

It makes you long for the days where you could just fall asleep without having to take anyone else into consideration.

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9. And what if you want to just stare at the ceiling/contemplate the meaning of life?

It’s just not as satisfying when there’s someone snoring next to you.

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#SleepingAlone4Eva

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About the author:

Amy O'Connor

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