AH, THE 21ST birthday party, a long-held Irish tradition. This coming-of-age signifies an arrival to adulthood, despite being able to drink for three years already and drive for four. You’ll probably attend dozens of these parties in your early 20s, but we’d be absolutely shocked if they didn’t all look like this:
1. There are photo collages of the birthday boy/girl on the wall
2. There’s a centrepiece of confetti and balloons in the middle of the table
21 must be on EVERYTHING, in case people forget why they’re there.
3. It’s in the nearby GAA club or the function room hidden out the back of the local
Basically anywhere with a little wooden dance-floor in the middle. God have mercy on the souls of those who dance outside the designated zone.
4. The DJ is a family friend on their laptop
Must play the macarena, Call Me Al, and love the sound of their own voice.
5. Everyone will ‘Rock the Boat’
6. There’s more family than friends present
You better believe an auntie will be the first one on the dancefloor and granda will have a bop with the girlos. That’s if they’re not scowling disapprovingly at the rig-outs on everyone.
7. A dodgy stripper will show up
8. Everyone scrambles so they’re not the 21st kiss
The line quickly escalates from everyone to no one. Nobody wants to be the last kiss simply because of the immense social pressure it carries.
9. A cocktail sausage and onion ring spread is on the menu
Those with notions will have a chocolate fountain and probably arrived on a party bus.
10. The birthday/boy girl will give an awkward speech
Afterwards, mammy is presented with some flowers and a voucher for dad.
11. Everyone goes back to the house
There’ll always be floods more drink there, probably out the back in the bucket of ice.
