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Dublin: 11 °C Thursday 23 May, 2024
shift me mate

17 funny and true tweets that sum up being an Irish woman

*walks outside with face covered in Sudocrem*

1. You start off your dating life just like this

2. Make several false starts like this

Tweet by @Elaine Elaine / Twitter Elaine / Twitter / Twitter

3. Coppers is hardly worth the effort

shrekown Twitter / @etherkelly Twitter / @etherkelly / @etherkelly

4. And Tinder? It’s a wasteland

See also: Standing on Machu Picchu, or squatting next to a drugged tiger.

5. Basically dating in Ireland is no craic

wyd Twitter / @lilcaoimhe Twitter / @lilcaoimhe / @lilcaoimhe

What did he expect??

6. We’re masters of keeping things ‘just in case’

Sure isn’t it ideal for taking your lunch to work in? Why would you be throwing it out?

7. Every Irish woman has had to come to this conclusion all by herself

(Tip: M&S 60 deniers.)

8. You’ve been confronted by the dreaded Tesco Screen of Doom

Why do they lock the condoms up in little plastic boxes like that? How is it fair?

9. And find yourself face to face with your heroes, right there on the street

MARY!

10. You know that trying to talk to some lads feels like this

“Yeah… Skyrim.”

11. And have dealt with this grievous offence

Tweet by @Fionnuala Fionnuala / Twitter Fionnuala / Twitter / Twitter

*flings eyeliner across bedroom in a rage*

12. You get more love from the taxi man than any of our paramours

Tweet by @Zoë Zoë / Twitter Zoë / Twitter / Twitter

Pat <3

13. And hold simple dreams and aspirations

Maybe a €10 bottle of wine. Someday.

14. Because the absolute STRESS of keeping up with the Joneses

“This year I’m investing in some key pieces like this €2883223 keyring…”

Invest in ME HOOP, says you.

15. You’ve done something like this at least once before

SCREAM.

16. You just can’t stop yourself from being polite

17. Except when you’re trying to give birth and there’s a Women’s March in the way

Sounds about right. Go on you girls in green <3

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