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The 8 different types of hangover, ranked from worst to best

Which one are you today?

NOT ALL HANGOVERS are created equal. Some are worse – much, much worse than – others.

7. The Vom Hangover

60f90be5a3af5fb0a7b2906d2a127977--lemon-party-liz-lemon Source: Pinterest

This is particularly horrific because it does not always present itself straight away. You could be anywhere, doing anything, when your stomach starts to churn and you know the jig is up. There is no dignity in a Vom Hangover.

6. The David Byrne Hangover

tumblr_mv6klhQhdq1r94e9jo1_400 Source: Tumblr

So called because you may ask yourself, “My God, what have I done?!” Often accompanied by an intense desire to text people casually asking for details of the night that you have… forgotten. The Fear is strong with this one.

5. The Emotionally Fraught Hangover

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What are you doing with your life? Why did you spend €50 on Jagerbombs for Patrick’s mates that you don’t even know? Why is this dog food ad so sad? *weeps*

4 (a). The ‘I Feel Great Oh No False Alarm’ Hangover…

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You wake up seemingly hangover-free and swan around all smug until approximately 3pm, when the cage crashes down and you are gripped by fear, fatigue, and a fierce hunger for stodgy foods.

4 (b). And The ‘I Feel Great Oh No I’m Actually Still Drunk’ Hangover

giphy Source: Giphy

“HAHAHAHA. I’m gas. WHO WANTS TO TALK TO ME? MAD FOR CHATS I AM. WHY DOES NO ONE WANT TO TALK TO ME? Hahahahaha I’m still drunk.” This can quickly turn into a 4(a).

3. The ‘I Need Beverages And Corn Snacks And I Need Them All Now’ Hangover

You will never be satisfied. You must consume everything, until you don’t feel like this any more. This is manageable, as long as you have access to all the foodstuffs you need. Failure to obtain them will result in considerable irritability.

2. The Cosy Hangover

k75o5lQ Source: Imgur

You don’t feel great but you don’t have to be anywhere, do anything, or even speak to anyone. You’re free to cocoon yourself on the couch watching Sex And The City all day, eventually stirring to greet the takeaway delivery man. These are rare and wonderful.

1. And the Lucky Escape

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You wake up, slowly feel things out – a little thirsty, yes; a small headache, sure we’ll take some Panadol – and proceed through the day with caution, but the hangover fails to rear its ugly head. Congratulations. You’ve made it.

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