Dublin: 12 °C Monday 26 September, 2022

7 weird things that happened this week

An Instagram account leads to 142 felony charges, the Queen’s nuts, and a penis-biting snake – the bizarre news stories you might have missed.

DREAMS ARE OFTEN at their most profound when they seem the most crazy. 

Not our words – the words of Sigmund Freud. He was talking about our psyches, of course, but he could also have been talking about news. And if you haven’t got your fill of crazy news stories this week, then you’re in the right place. DailyEdge.ie has combed the internet thoroughly, and shaken out all the mad news like nits. 

And with that mental image fresh in your mind, read on. 

England’s Queen Elizabeth II lost her temper over royal police officers handling her nuts. In emails submitted to the phone hacking trial in a London Court, reports learned of a memo issued to all officers telling them to “keep their sticky fingers out” of the snack bowls left in corridors of Buckingham Palace. The snacks (including cashews, almonds and Bombay mix) are left around the Palace for the 87-year-old monarch. The Queen was so annoyed by the snack theft that she started marking the bowls to see where the levels dipped. This story is, quite frankly, nuts. (Yahoo! UK)

A man in Ghana was bitten on the penis while sitting on a public toilet. Kwabena Nkrumah was using a toilet in the Ashtani REgion when a “big black snake” took aim. According to reports, the man’s wails of “snake, snake, snake!” led to panic, with other men fleeing the bathrooms. He has since been discharged from hospital. That’s gotta hurt. Right in the pride. (Mirror)

Source: Twitter/tokai06

A café in Nice, France has instituted price penalties for rudeness. Or price breaks for politeness, depending on your point of view. If they bluntly ask for “un café” it’s €7, then €4.25 for “un café, s’il vous plait” and it’s knocked down to a bairganous €1.40 if you add a “bonjour”. The café owner of La Petite Syrah explained his decision by saying that customers can be “just as rude as staff”. Which strangely implies that La Petite Syrah has grumpy staff. We could take a cheap pop at French stereotypes here but you know what? We’re all better than that. (DailyEdge.ie)

Source: LANman247

A Japanese man has admitted he is guilty is breaking into homes to steal money and valuables – in order to feed the 120 cats he looked after. Mamoru Demizu, from Osaka, broke into 32 homes and stole around 19.2 million yen (about €134,888). The “cat burglar” (wheh wheh) told police: “It was the happiest moment when I rubbed my cheek against a cat.” He only kept one cat at home, but fed many in his neighbourhood, and kept 20 more in a warehouse. Truly, the cat’s Robin Hood. (Yahoo)

A sheriff in Louisiana is offering an Xbox One as an incentive for anyone willing to turn informant. The area, St Charles Parish, is being plagued by pellet guns, which have caused damage to houses, cars and windows. The best part about this story though? The sheriff’s name is Greg Champagne. CHAMPAGNE! Amazing. (Metro)

Source: Instagram/Miami New Times

A man in Florida has been arrested on 142 felony charges after a cop saw his Instagram account. Dupree Johnson, 19, was already known to the police for serious crimes including grand theft, burglary and possession of a firearm. Rather than twee over-filtered photos of his brunch, Johnson had been uploading photos of himself with guns and expensive jewellery. Police decided to search and found, among other things, a  Glock under his duvet and $250,000 worth of stolen goods. Unfortunately his Instagram page has since disappeared. Too little, too late pal. (Huffington Post)

Pssst. Spotted any wacky news in your local area? Let us know on fiona@dailyedge.ie or below in the comments if you’d like to see your name in lights. It could be you!

Mysterious fishy stinks, a giant up yours to an ex-wife and rivers of caramel – it’s all the previous bizarre news stories you need in your life> 

About the author:

Fiona Hyde

Read next: