1. The Fish* Microwaver
They know it smells bad. They’ve heard all your complaints. Yet still, they persist. (*Insert smelly food of choice here.)
2. The Foodie
There’s nothing wrong with them, really… Only the smell of their delicious lunches makes you regret the wilted salad you brought from home. Curses.
3. The Mysterious Food Stealer
Who is taking all the porridge? Who is repeatedly ridding the staff of their peanut butter? The fiend must be unmasked!
4. The Pass-Ag Note Leaver
No Nina, we wouldn’t have dreamed of moving your yoghurts. But now that you’ve left this note warning us not to, we just might.
5. The Intense Typist
You like that space bar, huh.
6. The Noisy Eater
They don’t just eat the apple. They make love to the apple, even if it means alienating half of their colleagues.
7. The Lift Chatter
I don’t know you. You don’t know me. We’re not going to have a meaningful or entertaining conversation in here. It’s probably best if we both say nothing, OK?
8. The Sniffer
Please get a tissue. Please, please do that.
9. The Person Who Insists On Coming In Sick
The Sniffer is annoying, but they just need Kleenex. The Sick Person, however, has the potential to infect the entire office. Rude and uncalled for.
10. The Serial ‘Reply All’ Offender
Either they don’t understand how to answer emails, or they really want us all to know they had a great meal at Milano’s last night. Thanks for the recommendation, Karen from Finance!
11. The Dad Joker
Usually this person is senior to you, so you have to act like everything they say is HILAAAARIOUS. Anything to keep the peace, eh?
12. And That One Eeejit Who Always Fiddles With The Air Con
You are the reason for the Too Hot vs Too Cold schism that has divided the office for years. YOU. We hope you’re happy, Air Con Fiddlers.
