1. When someone’s holding the door for you…
… and you’re a tiny bit too far back, so you have to start jogging.
2. Waiting for negligible change
If you don’t take it they might shout after you. If you hang around for it you look like a scabby sod. Lose/lose.
3. Walking in the wrong direction
We all know that the solution to this is to pull out your phone, pretend to read a message, frown a little, and turn around.
What did they do in the days before mobile phones? Doesn’t bear thinking about.
4. When your friend introduces you to someone, and then leaves you alone with them
You should probably just get some new friends.
5. When there’s food laid out, but nobody’s eating it
It could be the nibbles in someone’s house, or delicious cakes someone’s brought into work.
You don’t want to make a beast of yourself and be the first one to chow down, but how long do you wait?
6. When someone looks over your shoulder at your computer…
… and you’re looking at Facebook in work/g-chatting skank talk about them/doing anything you’re not supposed to be doing.
7. When you go for a handshake/high five, and it’s not reciprocated
Just move to another country. It will make things easier on everyone.
8. When you experience a door fail
It says ‘PULL’ right there, look.
9. When you put a kiss at the end of a serious text/email
You are not alone.
