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rag week

11 things every woman on her period knows to be true

Sleep. Eat. Cry. Repeat.

 1. Cramps are a very good reason for doing nothing at all

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“Nah, sorry, can’t go out. Have to roll myself into a blanket burrito in bed with a hot water bottle on my belly.”

2. They’re also a very good reason to eat anything you want

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If your period falls at any time during Lent, it’s the equivalent of 5-7 Sundays in a row. Fact.

3. Anything can come along and leave you emotionally bereft

Those damn period emotions.

We have identified some sure-fire triggers for a good period cry:

  • Passion (sports people, weepy films, devotion to pretty much anything)
  • Selflessness (people who do great work for charity)
  • Success against the odds (people on game shows, sob stories on The X Factor)
  • Frustration (Things falling over, extra long queues, general stupidity)

4. The utter indignity of bloating


Voilet-Beauregarde1 WhollyGastronomy WhollyGastronomy

5. The daftness of the ‘Sneaking A Tampon To The Work Bathroom’ dance

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When taking the whole bag just looks too obvious, you must try and get it up your sleeve, into a pocket, or tucked into a waistband without anyone noticing.

6. The horror stories

The ever-present threat of Toxic Shock Syndrome. Unfortunate leaks. That one friend of a friend who got a tampon ‘lost’ up there.

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What if you’re next? What if it’s time?

7. Whoever makes tampons and sanitary pads cares not a jot for discretion

“Hmm, I hope no one can hear what I’m doing in here.”
“Ah, never mind.”

Might as well walk around with one of these things on:

4603466318_277f510f6f_o Flickr / randychiu Flickr / randychiu / randychiu

8. The ads make it look so easy

Ask any woman and she will tell you: This does not accurately represent the period experience.

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Ah, that blue liquid. So true to life, amirite ladies?

9. It’s never over

Well, not when you think it is, anyway.

10. Sometimes you feel a little badass

Women can bleed for up to seven days without dying. Just think about that.


11. How reluctant people are to just say ‘period’

“Time of the month.” “Aunt Flo.” “Munster are playing at home.”

Even Boots can’t quite bring themselves to label feminine hygiene products as such.



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