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Dublin: 9 °C Tuesday 20 August, 2019
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Poo in the pool? 11 of the worst things about going swimming

That smell of chlorine is from us. Sorry.

A RECENT STUDY in the US has revealed that 58% of swimming pools in Atlanta have poo in them (well remains of fecal matter but whatever).

Researchers reckon that this is fairly common in most pools. HORROR TOWNN!

But then, swimming pools can be quite gross places and some horrible things can happen in them…

1. Hair everywhere

via Dairy of a Model

Why is there always hair in the pool?

Why must see clumps in the shower?

Why do bits of it keep appearing around your feet as you enter the pool?

WHY?

2. Pee

via SodaHead

We’ve thankfully never had this happen but apparently if you pee in the pool a blue mist appears around the pee.

Not only does it mean the pool staff know somebody peed in the pool, it also marks you out as the person who did it.

The fear of this happening to us as children was quite strong and still haunts us when we swim now.

3. Changing room

There’s always somebody walking around in the nip without a care in the world while the rest of just get about the business of drying ourselves or someone using the hair dryer to dry their shoes and causing a stink.

We’re basically like this when that happens:

We’re not sure what it is about swimming pool changing rooms that make people lose the run of themselves.

4. Bandages everywhere

Why, why, why, why are there always big bandages floating around the pool?

Despite this man making an appearance constantly:

STR/AP/Press Association Images

Grotty.

5. That weird foot cleaning water you have to walk through

When you walk through that weird tiny puddle of special foot disinfectant that’s always really cold, that’s when you’ve really marked your pool visit.

6.  Swimming cap

Daniel Ochoa De Olza/AP/Press Association Images

We’re talking about those weird plastic ones that you invariably end up wearing that make your head feel like it’s shrinking and that you have a condom on your head.

Horrible.

7. Belly floppers

The people who insist on belly flopping in and out of the pool all day like it’s their own personal diving spot are the worst.

We’re trying to work on our breaststroke can you please tone it down.

8.  Your swimsuit being horrible to you

via Shutterstock

Let’s be honest, we’ve all had that horrible moment where our swimming costume has ridden up to reveal a bit too much bum or suddenly slid off to have you accidentally flash your fellow swimmers.

Very embarrassing.

9. People swimming really slowly

You know when you have decided to hop in the swimming lane and take your new swimming career super seriously?

You will always be stuck behind some super slow swimmer, who you’ll attempt to overtake and then invariably some other person will be swimming down the other side therefore blocking you.

It’s like a motorway but with bodies and water instead of cars.

10. A narky lifeguard

Jean Cummings/EMPICS Entertainment

Nothing worse than a lifeguard with a superiority complex blowing their whistle non-stop.

We’re not on Baywatch, no need to get carried away with yourself.

11. Stinking like chlorine

You know how it is. You’ve had a nice swim, perhaps at the start of your day and even though you’ve showered afterwards you realise that you smell like you’ve been steeped in chlorine.

People avoid you all day because the slightest whiff of you makes your eyes sting.

Strangers on the street sniff you and go:

Raging.

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